The days are fleeting, and we are but dust

A disaster of horrific proportions has struck the tiny, impoverished island nation of Haiti - an earthquake with at least a 7.0-magnitude. Here in the US we have our stories surrounding an unusually long cold spell. We worry about the orange and strawberry crops in Florida. It is nice to have concerns as simple as these. But how do you cope with unimaginable and devastating news? How do you even begin to cope if you are in the middle of death and chaos? It seems that each natural disaster that strikes our earthly orb simply wishes to one-up the last one. And of all places to strike - Haiti. It seems ridiculously pointless to ask "Why?" I don't think that there is a "why". It just is.

I've been watching the news, trying to wrap my mind around this tragedy. It strikes me how my mind has a way of reverting to old memories in my brain and ripping them out to freshly lay them down before me, all of them grievous memories. I lived in Venezuela at a time when we experienced a 6.9 earthquake of our own. I was not at the epicenter of the quake when it struck, but I did see a collapsed commercial building and a three-story school, crushed down to one level, held up only by apparently sturdy desks. I witnessed rescue workers digging through rubble looking for bodies and hopefully, survivors. In our home a crack snaked it's way down one of our walls. Our belongings were thrown off the shelves by the shock waves. Still, our house stood strong. We were very fortunate.

Trying further to understand, I am briefly reminded of another tragedy I’ve lived through. Virginia Tech is all that needs to be said. So I take these two memories, with all the horror and sadness they opened my eyes to, and yet as I try to hold them up to what is happening in Haiti, they fall drastically short. They seem to disappear. My ability to measure the depth of this tragedy feels horribly inadequate. Listening to the stories that are even now just coming in, I have to fight to keep back the tears.

As I said to my friend, it is in times like these that I especially look forward to the restoration and peace that will one day come to this earth. When we are overwhelmed, it is a gracious blessing to rest on the solid rock who is Christ. I hope and pray that the Haitian people will lean on our heavenly Father. In a report from the Samaritan’s Purse about the situation the first night, I read this: “Thousands of people gathered in public squares late into the night, singing hymns and weeping.”

Oh for the day that all the saints will gather together, singing hymns but yet weeping for joy.

The Cleft of the Rock

When faced with confusion and trying circumstances, we could choose to direct our anger towards God and complain. But do we even have a right to do this? I'm reminded of the scene from Fiddler on the Roof when Russian soldiers raid and ransack the once happy wedding festivities of a young couple. Afterwards, the father, Reptevia, takes a loaf of bread and with both hands palm-up looks up to the sky and asks his God, over and over, "Why?"

There are times where God allows us be in a sort of free fall over dark waters. The issue is this, will we trust Him? Will we maintain our faith in His goodness and Lordship, saying in all circumstances, I must decrease so that He might increase? Though being at the end of ourselves can be painful and confusing, it is also a very good and safe place to be when we truly trust the Lord and His plans for us. It can be a place of growth and renewal if we but choose to keep our hearts vulnerable to the mysterious ways of the Holy Spirit.

Mere mortals that we are, we cannot even begin to grasp the high nature of God's thoughts. When we are at a crossroads or are met with the fray of a battle, it is tempting to think that God has let go of our lives and has forgotten to lead us by the quiet waters as He promised. But this is never the case. Rather, when turmoil ensues, He will gently place us in the cleft of the rock and cover us with his hand. He is our fierce protector.

I like this bit from A.W. Tozer's Faith: the Misunderstood Doctrine

True faith rests upon the character of God and asks no further proof than the moral perfections of the One who cannot lie. It is enough that God said it, and if the statement should contradict every one of the five senses and all the conclusions of logic as well, still the believer continues to believe. "Let God be true, but every man a liar," is the language of true faith. Heaven approves such faith because it rises above mere proofs and rests in the bosom of God.

Thoughts from The Good Life

My aunt has lent me a wonderful book, The Good Life, by Chuck Colson. I am only about 7 chapters in but I am really loving it. Colson tries his hand at answering questions such as: Why are we here? What is our purpose for living? What IS the 'good life' that everyone seems to want? Is it fame and fortune? Success and leisure? So many questions that really got me thinking. I mean, I know it's not about getting money and gaining renown, but it's hard to live in America, or the world for that matter, and not attribute a good deal of importance to these things.

I thought I knew what my purpose was. I am perfectly capable of touting the popular line "my purpose is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever". Yes. But what does that mean? What does it look like to live the good life? I desperately wish to know and I am anxious to have Colson show me some insights into the matter.

This is what I've gathered so far. Towards the beginning of the book, Colson talks about how we can't find the good life until we acknowledge that we ourselves are not good. Huh? What does that have to do with anything? It's not me I want to look at but the good things out there that I want for myself. That's what "finding the good life" is about, right? Still, Colson says "We have to understand the evil in ourselves before we can truly embrace the good in life". He then gives several stories, his own those of others until you come face to face with your own heart and realize that you, too, are evil and that all humanity is naturally inclined to do bad things. Great. I am a selfish being that thinks only of myself. How can I hope to get out of a vicious cycle that circulates around myself?

Colson shows how people think they know what's best for them - money, a promotion, vacation, whatever, and how they feel pressured to gain those things by family and society in general. But Colson has this to offer: "Freedom lies not in conforming to the world's expectations or even realizing what we take to be our deepest wishes; it lies in following the call on our lives."

Profound. "It lies in following the call on our lives." It's not about acheiving the goals that we think will bring us happiness but rather following that which we are called to do. I don't know about anybody else, but to me this resounds truer than a thousand Chinese gongs. (No I've never heard that many at one time but sounds about right).

Excitedly I read on, wishing to discover this higher calling. Oh, I probably am being called as a missionary to Africa to start an orphanage and help solve the AIDS problem. Or, oh yeah, I know, I should do everything I can to one day run for public office and climb the ladders in politics. Spotlight on me please. Now.

Wait. No, it's not that.

Colson then says this. "Living a meaningful life consists simply in embracing the responsibilities and work given to us, whatever they are." So, working in food service for a year after getting a college degree? Yep.  How about being a part-time secretary and helping my grandparents out at their home? Definitely. Here's me in a small voice "oh". But rather than getting bummed thinking life isn't going to be as glamorous as I've hoped, I start to see what he is getting at.

We were created in the image of God and we were created to work. Simply by putting our two hands to good use and being productive we are fulfilling our purpose. There is immense satisfaction in getting a job done well. The early Americans understood this and their incredible work ethic and appreciation for work in general built America up to what it is today. I have grown up in a time where the cool thing is too slack off, shirk duties and live for leisure and pleasure. I know I have absorbed this mentality and have seen it's slovenly results in my life. I can't deny that it's there. Still, I am fortunate to have also been taught the importance of work and being productive with my time. The greatest challenge for me is fighting the inertia that keeps wanting to take over. I could do this, or I could do that, but it's so much easier to just sit here and do nothing.

Colson said one of the hardest things about being in prison is the forced inactivity. The one thing he feared the most was not having anything to do. He grasped that our fundamental purpose is to work doing that which we are called to do. I hope to learn this lesson once and for all.

More on this later as I progress through the book.

The beginnings of my wonderings

My God owns the cattle on a thousand hills! What's not to wonder about that??

I know that try as I might, I cannot resolve the enigmatic nature of God's extravagant love for me. The greatest insight I will ever have will be but a scratch on the surface.

I cannot understand why God decided to have mercy on me and save me through His grace. I am grieved in knowing how much Christ suffered for me. I am baffled by the way the Holy Spirit speaks to me. I am hopelessly allured by the infinite beauty of the triune God. I can hardly begin to explain the mystery of Christ and the Church.

Amazingly enough - by God's sovereignty - I exist. I have full access to His throne of grace and may approach it with confidence. As long as I continue to walk in the light, there will be new mercies and new wonders to behold. As I am able, I will share them here.

Welcome.